​Marlo isn’t wrong.

Relationships are complicated, especially long-term ones. What we’re seeing play out between Marlo and Kandi isn’t as unusual as some viewers are attempting to make it. Marlo’s issue with Kandi is very logical and clear. 
 
Marlo opposed her castmates attempts to sanitize the shooting that occurred at Kandi’s establishment. It was a simple request: say “shooting.” Here’s the thing: There was a shooting. It was covered by popular blogs and respected news media outlets. It is wholly fair to call a thing a thing. Kandi had no problem articulating that Sheree’s website crashed, that Sheree is not making use of the most well-known Housewives brand, She by Sheree, that she attempted to help Sheree with her website, but Sheree didn’t want to compensate them. If Kandi can say all that about Sheree’s business. They can say shooting. 
 
What needs to be cleared up is Marlo didn’t attach her nephew’s shooting to Kandi’s business until Drew gaslighted her. To gaslight means to get someone to question their reality. Drew attempted to convince Marlo that she was cavalier in her use of the word “shooting” because Marlo had no personal experience with gun violence, and Drew set herself up as the martyr from Chicago who knows all things gun violence. This interaction is what triggered Marlo. In the episode, she continuously said, “My blood nephew died” to confirm her reality. We use the word trigger so often, that when we see an actual moment of triggering, it goes unnoticed. 
 
This turn is where the conflict becomes significant. I think everyone has been in a situation where you wished someone had responded differently in the past, and a present situation brings up those old feelings. We saw this happen with Kanye and Jay Z. Years after Kim and Kanye’s wedding, Jay Z and Beyonce moved to California. Kanye was triggered that they never brought the kids over for a play date, and this brought up the pain of Jay Z missing his wedding. Same with Marlo. Kandi’s nephew getting shot by someone he knew through work, brought up those feelings for Marlo. And she simply stated she wished her friend had done more like send flowers, or a card, or call her family. All reasonable and normal stuff that relationships are all about. 
 
Kandi and the other castmates reactions though remind us we’re watching a show. Drew, Kenya, and Kandi took Marlo’s simple words and turned them into an attack on Kandi’s businesses. This is the typical melodrama that Kenya and Kandi like to fabricate. Let’s not forget that Kenya spent Season 12 on a retributive mission against Nene because she claimed Nene called Brooklyn a buffalo. How stupid. We’re all familiar with the antiquated tendency to say a pregnant woman looks like she’s having a buffalo, but it was Kandi who told Kenya that Nene called Brooklyn a buffalo. That quarrel was stupid, and so is the claim that Marlo is trying to bring down Kandi’s businesses. No one will stop streaming “Who Can I Run To?” because Marlo said Kandi didn’t send flowers. Absolutely no one is cancelling their Blaze reservations for their upcoming afterwork gatherings because Marlo said Kandi didn’t reach out to her family. Kandi has built a fanbase from the 90’s. We’re not going anywhere. It’s not happening because the shooting is on brand. 
 
Courtney called Kandi ghetto. It was wrong, but unfortunately Courtney’s perspective is an embedded aspect of social relations in Atlanta. ATLiens have a saying: “You flew here; I grew here.” Many transplants don’t understand social dynamics. There is a North-South side divide in Atlanta. People from North Atlanta consider South Atlanta low brow and often only visit South Atlanta for the airport. This is why most of the sports teams and cultural institutors moved their venues farther north of Highway I-20. What Courtney said is a reverberating theme and speaks to how people see Kandi. Let’s not forget that Xscape introduced themselves to the world as the “ghetto En Vogue.” The idea that Kandi and her businesses are part of a Chitlin Circuit is what really bothers Kandi. She could address the issue in a more meaningful way, as Phaedra dealt with the stigma of the father of her children going to prison. Phaedra openly expressed her concerns and used the Housewives platform to support children of incarcerated parents even going to Washington, D.C. to meet with lawmakers on camera. Kandi could do the same regarding workplace violence.
 
What is happening verifies Marlo’s point: Kandi doesn’t deal with the ACTUAL issue. The issue isn’t that Marlo is attacking Kandi’s business. The issue is Marlo felt Kandi could have done more, and that’s Marlo’s prerogative. Not dealing with the actual issue is Kandi’s pattern. Rewind to season 14. Kenya didn’t appreciate the dungeon invitation to see Kandi’s Broadway play, and Kenya rejected Kandi’s request to wear panties that allowed random people to buzz her clitoris throughout the night. Kenya couldn’t see the connection between sex games and Kandi’s Broadway play. It was a logical position. Kandi didn’t deal with this actual issue. As usual, she turned it into a personal attack. She claimed that they were all making her out to be some freak, and then Kandi accused Kenya of “having a past” herself.  Same with Mama Joyce. We’re on Season 15, and Kandi has yet to deal with the actual issue of Mama Joyce subjecting her husband, and kids, to emotional abuse. That’s the actual issue. Instead, Kandi frames it as if it’s a simple disagreement. No. It’s abuse, child. 
 
Kandi can handle things however she wants in her personal life. The issue is how it impacts the show. Her blowups stunt the progression of stories. It’s part of the reason why we think she’s so boring. If there isn’t an active dispute in Kandi’s life, you can’t get anything out of her. She’s not like a Porsha, who when she was on the outs with all the ladies in Season 10, was hilariously trying to reinvent herself as a vegan or like Nene who took the girls to the energy reader to confront their elephants. You’re not going to get those funny introspective scenes from Kandi. The larger problem that impacts the show is how cast members pull rank. If Nene Leakes had left filming the way that Kandi stormed out, although she escalated the situation to violence, people would be calling Nene unprofessional, telling her she needs to quit. But Kenya, Kandi, and sometimes Drew, have been seemingly controlling production. Refusing to discuss particular topics, leaving filming early, demanding that certain people be removed from the scene, as Drew did to Marlo. All of those rank-pulling antics impact the producers’ ability to deliver stories to the viewers. That’s my biggest issue with this season. It feels like there is nothing there because cast members are refusing to give. The cast members are engaging in a classist, elitist, sexist shaming and dismissing of Marlo. It would be wise of RHOA producers to avoid supporting these acts. Yes. Marlo has a record. Yes, Marlo was in foster care. Marlo is also a college graduate who opened her own boutique at Perimeter Mall in North Atlanta, Georgia on her own. It’s sad that Kandi who too was slut-shamed concerning her relationship with Jermaine Dupri while she was a member of Xscape would undermine another woman’s accomplishments in the same way that people attempted to undermine her talent. 
 
In the words of Phaedra Parks, “Fix it, Jesus.”